Building a Connection: Maria’s Story
Adoption is often spoken about like a conclusion, but a family’s journey is actually just getting started. This incredible act of love gives children a forever home. We celebrate adoption and the exciting, joyous future of the family. As with all major transitions, however, integrating into everyday life as a new family brings challenges. Adopted children may still deal with trauma from the past, or parents may struggle to connect with their kids. Thankfully, For Others partners with Chosen. They provide free counseling to families to help with post-adoption parenting, building a connection, and more. Chosen helps birth, foster, kinship, and adoptive families overcome challenges and grow deeper connections. Today, Maria shares her family’s post-adoption journey with Chosen.
A Years-Long Dream
Since her teenage years, Maria Salcedo felt a deep desire to adopt. The dream remained alive through the years, including her marriage to John and the birth of their two daughters. Life took an unexpected turn when their youngest child was born significantly premature. She faced severe disabilities, leaving her non-verbal and wheelchair-bound. Yet despite these challenges, the family decided to open their hearts and home to another child. They chose to foster Nadine, a 10-month-old girl born in Haiti whose mother immigrated to the United States. Loss marked Nadine’s early life when her mom passed away shortly after arriving, leaving her without a caregiver.
Nadine joined the Salcedo family at a young age, but despite Maria’s eagerness to bond with her, she felt disconnected. Guilt and shame accompanied these feelings, and Maria often questioned herself. Nadine also struggled with unhealthy behaviors. Eventually, Maria wondered what more she could do to break through this emotional block.
Her journey led her to Chosen, who came alongside her family with a custom plan. Maria learned about blocked care, which happens when parents unconsciously protect themselves from a child’s trauma. It comes as a result of prolonged stress, something Maria was familiar with. She also began to practice more parent-child regulation, which helps young children learn to regulate their emotions. Through the support of her Parent Coach and educational programs, Maria discovered the importance of establishing a connection before correcting behavior. She realized that her expectations for Nadine were unrealistic, especially after understanding how early trauma can affect development.
Building a Connection
A natural connection with our children isn’t guaranteed, especially when fostering or adopting. Different cultures, races, and genetics often cause differences in personality and temperament between parent and child. Accepting this reality allowed Maria to release the guilt and start the journey toward building a connection. Importantly, Maria discovered the significance of self-care so she could be present for her children during their struggles and big feelings. She also discovered the importance of creating a supportive community where she felt seen.
Maria learned to navigate her feelings and expectations, opening a door to a deeper connection with Nadine. The tools she gained improved their relationship and helped her grow as a parent to all her children. Nadine, now six years old, thrives in the love and support of her family, alongside her older sisters, who are twelve and nine. Their nine-year-old, despite her significant limitations, shares a unique bond with Nadine, illustrating the strength and resilience of family ties.
Maria often reflects on how the guidance and support she received from Chosen transformed her family. The journey wasn’t easy, but through patience, understanding, and the right support, Maria and John overcame the barriers to bonding with Nadine. Their home is now built on a foundation of connection. This family’s story testifies to the impact of compassionate guidance and the power of vulnerability to overcome shame. With the right support, every family has the potential to heal and flourish.
When you give through For Others, real families like the Salcedos get the support and education they need to thrive. We believe in the power of the Collective: you, us, and our incredible partners like Chosen. By funding essential programs and services, we team up to provide lasting solutions to the child welfare crisis in America. Join us in making a difference—invest in the future of countless families and children today.
