What do you think of when someone mentions Halloween? Common answers would be candy, dress-up, playing pretend, and trick-or-treating with family. Many of us have photos of ourselves or our children in costumes starting from infancy. But for many children in foster care, those photos don’t exist. Four-year-old “E” was one of them when she arrived at foster dad Jarod’s home in 2022. Jarod tells us about E’s first trick-or-treat and what it symbolized for a vulnerable little girl in need.
E’s Story
E’s life has not been easy. In fact, Jarod describes it as absolute turmoil. E found herself in eight different foster homes within twelve months before joining Jarod’s family. Some children from tumultuous backgrounds try to control anything they can, even if that control looks like getting removed from their current foster home. Tantrums, breaking items in the home, or running away are a few examples.
When E arrived at Jarod’s home in March 2022, the family knew they had to put a stop to E’s constant moving. Research clearly shows that each move in foster care results in further trauma for the child, in addition to what they may be carrying from their past. Knowing this, the family decided from the start that E would never go to a new home. Jarod, his wife, and his two teenage children all committed to making sure E knew she was secure.
“Nothing you can do is going to make us love you less,” Jarod told her.
When a spiral began, they picked her up, hugged her, and directed her focus to something else. They chose to nurture E rather than send her away. No matter how many bad days she had, they would never let her go. Today, E’s emotional outbursts no longer last multiple days; now, they last maybe 20 seconds.
E’s First Trick-or-Treat
Jarod and his family integrated E into every aspect of their family life, including holidays. On Halloween each year, Jarod’s family goes trick-or-treating with the same group of friends from church in the same neighborhood. Their kids know each other and run ahead to the next house while the parents follow. It’s a safe neighborhood with lots of other children dressed in costumes, carrying their candy buckets.
For E, however, it was her first trick-or-treat experience, and Jarod made sure she got to participate in all of it. E dressed up as a cowgirl and joined the rest of the children as they ran from house to house. In the photos from that day, E always has a big smile on her face. For a little girl whose life has been so tumultuous, Jarod and his family were able to create a pocket of normalcy.
“It felt so natural,” he says. “It didn’t feel like we’re rewarding this little girl or giving her something she doesn’t deserve to have.”
This year will be the first time E gets to spend Halloween in the same home as she did the previous year. The holiday memories will continue, but the stability of a secure and loving home matters even more.
“As far as we know, she’d never trick-or-treated,” Jarod says. “But really, she’d never had a family. Maybe she hadn’t gotten the candy, but really, she didn’t have a safe place to go home.”
Jarod lives out For Others’ mission by providing redemptive memories for E. We believe positive memories can reshape the trajectory of a child’s life, and every child deserves memories of fun, costumes, sweet treats, and family. E’s second trick-or-treat represents more than one night; it’s a symbol of a stable and secure home that she can carry close to her heart forever.
