Many of us have photos of ourselves or our children in costumes starting from infancy. But for many children in foster care, those photos don’t exist. Over one-third of kids in foster care will live in three or more separate homes in one year, making it hard to create and preserve childhood memories. Four-year-old “E” was one of them when she arrived at her foster home in 2022. After a history of pain and abandonment, a special family Halloween became part of her journey to feeling loved. Her foster father, Jarod, tells us about his child’s first trick-or-treat and why foster care stability mattered for this vulnerable little girl.
E’s Foster Care Story
E’s life has not been easy. In fact, Jarod describes it as absolute turmoil. E found herself in eight different foster homes within twelve months before joining Jarod’s family. Her past trauma manifested in a deep desire for control, even if that control meant getting removed from her foster homes. Tantrums, breaking items, or running away are a few examples of such behavior.
When E arrived at Jarod’s home in March 2022, the family knew they had to put a stop to E’s constant moving. Research clearly shows that each move in foster care results in further trauma for the child, in addition to what they may be carrying from their past. Knowing this, the family decided from the start that E would never go to a new home. Jarod, his wife, and his two teenage children all committed to making sure E knew she was secure.
“Nothing you can do is going to make us love you less,” Jarod told her.
When a spiral began, they picked her up, hugged her, and directed her focus to something else. They chose to nurture E rather than send her away. No matter how many bad days she had, they never let her go. Today, E’s emotional outbursts no longer last multiple days; now, they last maybe 20 seconds.
A Little Girl’s First Trick-or-Treat
Jarod and his family integrated E into every aspect of their family life, including holidays. On Halloween each year, Jarod’s family trick-or-treats with the same group of church friends in the same neighborhood. Their kids know each other and run ahead to the next house while the parents follow. It’s a safe neighborhood with lots of other children dressed in costumes, carrying their candy buckets.
Jarod knew it was his newest child’s first trick-or-treat experience, so he made sure she got to participate in all of it. E joined the rest of the children as they ran from house to house. In the photos from that day, E always wears a big smile on her face. For a little girl whose life has been so tumultuous, Jarod and his family were able to create a pocket of normalcy.
“It felt so natural,” he says. “It didn’t feel like we’re rewarding this little girl or giving her something she doesn’t deserve to have.”
One year later, Jarod’s family kept their promise: E was still with them. It was the first time E spent Halloween in the same home as she did the previous year. The memories will continue, but the stability of a secure and loving home matters even more.
“She’d never trick-or-treated, but really, she’d never had a family,” Jarod says. “Maybe she hadn’t gotten the candy, but really, she didn’t have a safe place to go home.”
Supporting Happy Foster Care Stories
Jarod and his family live out For Others’ mission to end the child welfare crisis in America by providing an ideal foster home for E. Positive memories can reshape the trajectory of a child’s life, replacing memories of hurt or loneliness. Every child deserves memories of fun and celebration, and most importantly, they deserve family. A child’s first trick-or-treat with family is precious; their second trick-or-treat with the same family is priceless. You can be a part of providing children like E with an ideal foster family that meets their needs and stays even in hard times. Join the mission today by donating.
